Most nights when my head finally hits the pillow I fall sound asleep within minutes. Tonight I am unable to sleep. The past couple of months (or more accurately years) have been so full of daily ups and downs. I’ve been in flight or fight mode for a long time. We’ve had seasons of peace and seasons of storm but recently it seems like there has been far more storms than peace. However today has been a blessedly calm day around here.
I don’t think my mind and body remember what to do with calm. Don’t get me wrong I am grateful for the reprieve that today has been but it makes me wonder… Have the winds finally ceased to blow or is this just the calm before the next storm?
Is there sunlight on the horizon or is this just a brief break in the storm clouds?
Have we finally turned a corner? Or is the next challenge just around the bend?
Are we finally in for a season of calm? Or will our refiner’s fire continue?
I’ve been laying in bed pondering the events of the last few years. So many ups, so many downs. I’ve barely begun to scratch the surface of all that we’ve been through. It’s hard to share the details because so many things are so very personal. Much of what we have experienced can never be shared. The storms have definitely been raging around us. But isn’t it that way for everyone? No one escapes this life without their share of troubles and trials. My trials are tailor made for what I need to learn and I wouldn’t trade them. I’m grateful for them. I’m grateful for what they have helped me learn. I’m grateful for what have helped me become.
I love this quote. It reminds me to be grateful for the ride that is my life.
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” ~Gordon B. Hinckley
Whatever today was I’m grateful for it.
I am grateful that…
Today was a day free of obsessions and compulsions.
Today there was laughter in our home.
Today I didn’t have to worry where my son was.
Today when the phone rang there was no moment of panic as to who was calling and why.
Today we sat around the table as a family to eat a dinner that I actually prepared.
Today all my children are home safe.
Today was a great day.
Whatever tomorrow brings I will be grateful for it.